Today in sociology we talked about pre-marital sex and homosexuality. And recently I have been reading Joshua Harris's new book Not Even A Hint. It is about lust and not having even a hint of it in your life. <br><br>Well, my mind was working after class and throughout the rest of the day and I had an interesting question come to my mind. <br><br>I believe whole-heartedly that masturbation is a sinful action. I know, though, that a lot of Christians don't hold that view along with me. <br><br>So my question is, If masturbation is ok to do than why is it wrong to have sex outside of marriage? Aren't they the exact same thing in some sense? Cuz Jesus says that if you even LOOK at a women lustfully that you have committed adultry...<br><br>Just curious as to what some of your thoughts are to that question...
I struggled with this question after I was saved. I viewed it as a placebo before I was a Christian. The reason is that it is not holy. You are driven out of lust to commit this act and it destroys you in time. Soon you become so self-centered that you cannot in anyway be able to have a proper healthy view of sex. I sometimes think that there needs to be a brother and sister forum for that we can ask these questions to our own sex if desired. God is against us trying to take our pleasure or our success into our own hands. If you commit this act then you are saying that my lust is far too much greater a need than to wait on you Lord for your authorization of sex. I struggle with this a great deal so I repent but there is nothing wholesome or safe about it. It will ruin your relationship with the creator and those around you because you are out for you gain. That's the best reason that I can give.
Hey guys,<br><br>I've read this post a few times, and I just can't seem to forget it, it bothers me a little. I hope this is not off topic, and I hope neither of you takes this as that I'm totally disagreeing with you, but I want to ask a related question. Now the sad thing is that I've been kind of scared b/c despite knowing that the two of you and several other members of this board are fairly cool and godly, I know that some of you are still rather obsessed with being politically correct, even those who are in a fuller pursuit of God.<br><br>I've noticed in our church's that when we do talk about sex (if we do at all), it's only in the most general of terms and it's only in a condemning fashion, it seems to me that we never really address the issue, we just give this cover all answer and leave it at that.<br><br>If someone doesn't know better and gets hooked on drugs or alcohol or masturbation or some other vice (whatever it may be), and then discovers what they've done to themselves or becomes a christian and then finds out it's wrong, what do we do for those people? Some people are afraid to admit to their problems because they know that they'll be ostrasized from the church they love and want to be a part of. On the opposite end, we have these liberal people who talk about sex as any pagan does and still claim to be the leaders of their group, is that permissible? I don't think so. <br><br>So I guess what I'm asking is, what can christians do that shows the more worldly minded man that there's something better than the instant gratification of an orgasm? The only article I've seen is the one article John Piper has on his sight about how as pastors to avoid sexual impurity, but even that is merely a list of 10 suggestions which I know do not always defeat those urges. Here by the way is the link to that: http://www.desiringgod.org/library/topics/leadership/leaders_and_sex.html<br><br>Secondly, what's permissible inside marriage? Is it permissible, is it legal to masturbate about your wife? Is the Missionary position the only sexual position available to the godly Christian? Is sex with your mate a duty that ought to be performed even when you don't want to? I don't know, I could probably go on and if these don't offend you there are others I'm sure could be brought up, and I wonder what our responce would be other than, don't commit adultry, don't go against Leviticus 18 and don't fornicate.<br>What would our response be?<br><br>I'm just saying, as the only truly free people on this planet, we're a lot more enslaved to our sexual attitudes and prejudices than are the pagans. It's no wonder then that they don't want to come to church and some of our people would rather not come to church, all that pagans get is a guilt trip and all the christian gets is impossible for the simple minded man to apply to practical holiness.<br><br>In Hope:<br>-Brother Luke<br>
I don't have alot of time to respond to this, but I wanted to suggest a book to you called God on Sex by Danny Akin.
True godliness is a sincere feeling which loves God as Father as much as it fears and reverences Him as Lord, embraces His righteousness, and dreads offending Him worse than death~ Calvin
Is it permissible, is it legal to masturbate about your wife? Is the Missionary position the only sexual position available to the godly Christian? Is sex with your mate a duty that ought to be performed even when you don't want to? I don't know, I could probably go on and if these don't offend you there are others I'm sure could be brought up, and I wonder what our responce would be other than, don't commit adultry, don't go against Leviticus 18 and don't fornicate. What would our response be? <br><br>OK. <br>1st - is it legal to masturbate thinking about your spouse? By that, I assume you mean are we sinning if we do? My question would be, why? Since sex is God designed to be between a man and a woman, masturbation without your wife present would be sin, as half of God's equation is absent.<br><br>2nd - is sex a duty? Certainly not, but we are not to withhold it from our spouse, either (except mutually during times of prayer - 1 Cor 7:5). Certainly if I come home from a business trip, and my wife has a headache, it would be sinning on MY part to require such.<br><br><br>In His service,<br>Steve<br><br><br><br><br>
An interesting side note. I recall when I was about 16 or 17 at a Roman Catholic teen function. The priest advised us TO masturbate, as it would keep us from having sex, and thus remain sexually pure. Even though I was an atheist at the time, I remember thinking that did not sound right. <br>So you are correct.....if lust is OK, then the act would be OK. But since both are condemed by the Bible, both are not OK.<br><br>/scc/
In my mind, the problem with it all comes when we try to justify ourselves by taking the focus off of us and looking at something else. It's kinda like the woman at the well. When Jesus got into a "forbidden" area of her life, she changed the subject. And we are the same way. And that is where we get into issues. And that is where I think this question came from when I asked it. <br><br>As far as the questions that Luke presented, I think some of them are fair questions and others are kinda trying to take the focus off the issue at hand. Not that I can say what God is up to in people's lives in reguards to this issue, but I know personally, He is showing me a lot and teaching me a lot about His grace. <br><br>I do have a response to Luke's questions reguarding masturbation in marriage and all that. It is actually not a response but a question that came to mind after reading his questions. Is lust confined to merely single people? If so, then would it be wrong for a married man to take pronographic pictures of his wife and things of that nature with her? <br><br>
This is totally and completely off-topic, but I watched Kalled2Preach write, edit, and preview that last reply. What you have to do is go to who's online and constantly hit refresh. OK, you can carry on.
In the midst of your sadness and woe, when you are tormented and afflicted, have comfort! God's will is done.
Gentlemen,<br><br>I stumbled on this board and was motivated by this thread. You all sound like very sincere people -- my respect. However, I must admit that I am puzzled by all the effort at such minor matters. I am also puzzled by what I perceive as some misunderstanding of how our bodies work. Lastly, I am puzzled by how easily one's own ideas/ethics have usurped the ideas/ethics God to the extent that they have become characterized as God's. This constitutes idolary (and the Lord knows I have been guilty though working avidly to rid myself of such). <br><br>Just a thought - our bodies/minds need the cleansing of orgasm (that is why God created that functionality within us). Sadly, I have heard the purposes for sex somehow avoid the obvious - it is just plain healthy - we are made to have it - when we don't, we are less healthy. Somehow Christians so easily fall prey to sex being equated with lust. The fact is, lust is lust, sex is sex. Further, we need to correctly understand what lust is - lust is NOT the natural hormonal reaction we get when we see attactive members of the other gender. Lust is the the active desire to pursue that which is not ours.<br><br>Just some thoughts<br>In Christ,<br>Human
So would you say that masturbation is ok? I think that is what you are getting at, but I wanna make sure I didn't misread or something. I've not been awake very long and so I could be confused. lol
More than okay or not, I don't think it is that big of a deal - more or less a bodily function like our other bodily functions. The sex is evil orientation of the papacy has made issues of this big when they are not. If one was engage in this behavior (or any behavior) to one's detriment, e.g. meditating on having sex with one's neighbor's wife while masturbating, then this would clearly move to the area of sin (adultry).<br><br>Welcome to the morning!<br><br>Agape,<br>Human
I just think that a majority of people masturbate because they have seen (and we'll use guys for the example since I am a guy and all) an attractive girl and get fired up and are lustfully desiring that person. I don't know about the act itself being wrong, although I don't think it is right (if that makes any sense) but I think that to keep oneself from getting caught up in lust that he should avoid that act cuz it is usually a product of lust. <blockquote><font size=1>In reply to:</font><hr>[color:"blue"]The sex is evil orientation of the papacy has made issues of this big when they are not.</font><hr></blockquote><p>I agree there. Sex is a good thing. I have never had it myself, since I am not married. And I think that sex is created as an act of worship in marriage is something that is never spoken of anymore. In fact, I don't know that that was ever spoken of like that. [img]http://www.the-highway.com/w3timages/icons/eek.gif" alt="eek" title="eek[/img] So you make a good point.
Kalled, <br><br>Thanks for the honesty. Frankly, on one hand, sex is no big deal - because of such strange ideas of people, it has been made so but in reality it is not. On the other hand, as I mentioned, it (especially touch (which can exist without sex)) is important for one's health. When that time comes, you will see that dimension.<br><br>re: Masterbation.<br>I would tend to say that matsturbation is the result of natural hormonal (and, fluid for men) build up. There needs to be a release (ejaculation). Women (based on my discussions) also need a release. I think the hormonal build up is primarily the normal functioning of the body although it can certainly be quickened by visual arousal. Again, hormonal reactions are not sin - God made them - if you did not have a hormonal reaction to an attractive women I would be concerned - if she is clad/not clad in certain ways, that reaction will be much greater. I have found that simply acceptance of my reactions to be the most healthy. The issue arises when we begin to act on the basis of those starting with the overt desire for sex in your heart (particularly of a married woman). Frankly, masturbation might be the best means to cool off some the build up so you can regain your sanity and NOT enter the path to sin. <br><br>The biggest key to all this is self awareness and self reflection in conjunction with submitting all of yourself before Jesus Christ (vs. local/popular "Christian/cultural" ethic - which is idolatry).<br><br>Peace,<br>Human
Human,<blockquote><font size=1>In reply to:</font><hr>[color:"blue"]The biggest key to all this is self awareness and self reflection in conjunction with submitting all of yourself before Jesus Christ</font><hr></blockquote><p>Would you care to explain what you understand by:<br>1) self awareness, and<br>2) self reflection ?<br>
